This calendar year, 2010 is the same calendar year as 1999. (Being sentimental has its
advantages~ how else would I know this fact?)
Johnny and I officially met January 29, 1999 at a Young Single Adult dance in Beaumont Texas
at the Institute Building on Lamar campus. (I say officially, because I saw him at the Christmas dance the month before, from across the room, but he didn't see me.)
I was standing in front of the counter-top of the kitchen area, that opened up to the cultural hall, alone. Wait, first let me say this. I had recently come home from BYU, I was broke and felt a little unsure of my future. I wanted to get married, but I wanted to live near my family (hence leaving "The Land of Plenty" and coming to "The Land of Desolation"). My older brother, Travis, asked if I wanted to go with him to the YSA dance that night. I quickly got excited! Yes! Something to do, a social life! :) We got ready and headed to Beaumont. Okay, back to standing alone... I had a little bit of an attitude. I was shy, and I didn't know anyone, so I put up the "wall". (Dr. Phil hates that word, doesn't he? lol). K, so I'm standing there, my brother goes off and talks to friends, and I'm alone. (I keep saying that. But seriously, I hated being alone at a social event. HATED.) A couple of girls introduced themselves to me and then went their own way, probably getting food together or something. They were friendly, but I wasn't about to follow them around. (Oh, did I mention I'm 19 years old now?) So I'm standing there and I feel someone looking at me. I look to the left of the room, and there he is, staring. And I think to myself, "What's he looking at?" (Attitude, remember?) Behind him is a group of guys standing in a circle, so he's also standing alone.
He proceeds to come over and extends his hand...
"Hi, Johnny Ratcliff".
"Hi, I'm Jill."
"I don't think I've seen you at any of the Stake things. Did you just get home from a mission?"
(For those that don't know, guys go on missions for our church at 19 yrs old. Girls go at 21. He thinks I'm 21!)
"Uh, I'm only 19. I've been at BYU and just moved back." (Totally insulted.)
"Oh, okay. What's your last name?"
"Sellers."
"Oh, are you related to Sarah Sellers?"
"Yeah, she's my older sister."
"Oh! I remember her. Y'all moved away when she and I were teenagers."
"Yeah, we moved to central Texas, but my parents moved back, so we're here now. She just got married and lives in Utah."
"Oh, okay. Well it was really nice to meet you."
"Yeah, you too."
He goes to talk to one of the girls that introduced themselves to me earlier, and I'm now alone, again.
The music is playing, people are mingling and he comes back! He asks me to dance and says, "Consider it a service project." Ooooh- I didn't look too happy or fun that night. I had a crush on a guy, and he got there late and didn't really pay any attention to me. Unfortunately, you can read my face like a book and it seemed like I didn't like Johnny. I tried really hard to change that, quickly. He was a gentleman and walked me back to my "spot". ;) I think I danced with other guys that night, but I don't really remember them.
My brother decided to leave early and arranged for me to get a ride home with another guy. Feelings of insecurity and nervousness made my whole body ache for a second. (Social anxiety?) But before he left, he asked if I was having a good time. I said yes and told him I met a guy named Johnny Ratcliff and danced with him. Travis said, "Be careful of that guy. He's looking." (Meaning he's looking to get married.) I gasped and said, "Really? How do you know?" "I can tell." Well, he can look all he wants, but I'll dance with him anyway. lol It doesn't mean anything. Right?
We danced three times that night. Why do I remember this?
He even offered to take me home, but I already had a ride.
When I got home, everyone was asleep. The next morning my mom asked how the dance was. I told her everything I just wrote... about how he was staring at me and I thought, "What's he looking at?" and how he thought I'd been on a mission already and how we ultimately danced 3 times that night. He turned out to be the highlight of my night :)
Ironically, my little sister (17 yrs old) had a date that afternoon, with his younger brother, Erik (my age). I had seen Erik at the dance the night before- he was in the group of guys near Johnny. Of course, this reminded me of Johnny and the night before even more, but didn't think much of anything would come of it, but it certainly gave me new hope for my future in the Land of Desolation.
The next day, Sunday, I went to nursery with my little sister Rachel, since she didn't like it and I didn't have anything better to do a calling. My older sister, Monica was also in there. (I had been confiding in Monica and her husband Benny with my dating woes- before meeting Johnny.) Benny was in the Stake Young Men's Presidency. From time-to-time, he would travel to outside wards and branches in our stake. Today he happened to go to Jasper. Wait, isn't that where Johnny lives? Oh, yeah, it is. (I'm completely unaware of his calling or where he went that day until...) He walks into the nursery, church is almost over, and he says, "Come here I need to talk to you." So Monica goes over and he says, "No, I mean Jill." OK. Weird.
So he says, "I went to the Jasper Branch today and I talked to Johnny Ratcliff. I told him he should ask you out."
"WHAT?"
"Yeah, he's a really nice guy and he's in the Young Men's Presidency there..."
"Yeah, I actually met him the other night at a dance."
"Yeah, he said that. I told him he should ask you out. He said he thought you had a boyfriend (whatever gave him that idea?), but I told him you didn't and that it was a limited time offer. I gave him your number and told him to use my name and you better say yes!"
"Benny! He's not going to call!"
"Yes he is!"
"Well, I'll see what I can do. I'm not promising anything cause he's probably not going to call."
Sunday, no phone call.
Monday, no phone call. Parents go out of town, I'm in charge of little brother and sisters.
Tuesday, no phone call, still in charge.
See I told you so! He probably isn't calling just because you told him to. I should just forget about it.
Wednesday, "Jill, telephone!" as I'm outside playing "Get Off My Father's Apple Tree" with Rachel, who is 2.
I scoop her up and run inside and down the hall. I pick up the phone in the bedroom and my grandma hangs up the other phone. I catch my breath, cause, I was running after-all. That's the only reason, really.
"Hello?"
"Is this Jill?"
"Yes." (Still not sure if it's him, but I like his voice.)
"Hi, this is Johnny Ratcliff. We met at the dance the other night."
"Oh yeah, hi."
Chit-chat. Lots of nervous laughter from him. Weird faces from me. (Still not sure if he is doing Benny a favor.)
"My cousin needs a double date this Saturday. He asked me to double with him, would you like to go?"
(Sounds like he really wants to ask me out! Not.)
(16-17 yr olds double date, or group date, as a general rule in our Church.)
"Sure, that sounds like fun."
"Okay, good. Well, I'll get the details from him and I'll call you back with a time and to get directions to your house."
"Okay, I'll talk to you later."
Hang up.
He called back later that night. My little sisters and brother were watching a Disney movie and he called for directions. (I remember pointless details.) Rather than give him directions to my grandma's house (where we lived at the time) I gave him directions to my sister, Melissa's house because it was easier to get to and I didn't know the names of all the roads very well. I think we decided on 5:00 p.m. ?? It was daylight still, and it was February, so I think that's right.
I was pretty excited to have a date. I didn't have a huge crush on him yet, which was actually a good thing, because I was relaxed!
OH- this was back in the day of those little Caller ID boxes. My 17 yr old sister was super boy crazy (admit it!) and saw the name RATCLIFF CHAS 4x9-3x4-434x. She can't stand it!
"Did Erik Ratcliff call for me?"
"No."
"Well, why is his number on the caller id?"
"It's none of your business! It wasn't for you." (Such a nice sister.)
(Up until this point I hadn't mentioned my date or phone call to anyone.)
Finally I give in and say, "It was his brother for me!"
"Oh."
My parents got home late Wednesday night or early Thursday. My mom said they had to go back out of town on Friday (we were trying to sell our old house in Central Texas) and asked if I wanted to go. Again- happy to get out of the house, I said yes! BUT I have a date Saturday night. She was excited for me and assured me we could be back in time.
Saturday, February 6th came. It was the day of our date! We got a late start in Davilla and left late. We rushed back to Vidor and I hurried and got ready. He got to my sister's house, with his cousin and visited in the living room til I came out- minutes later. I think my nephews tried to use him as a jungle gym.
Travis was there and I asked him how I looked before going out. He said I looked good. I was kind of nervous, but happy. I walked out and noticed they hadn't picked up Brian's date yet. We got in Johnny's dad's Geo Metro (such a fun car- and it was a manual shift) and headed to Beaumont. He had a CD playing, Diamond Rio's Unbelievable. (He had just bought it that day especially for the date! Awwww.)
We visited a little. He sang along to the songs a little. It was a fun ride. We picked up Brian's date, and went out to eat at a Mexican restaurant, Ninfa's. Our waiter had his eyebrows drawn on, like those old lady's at the grocery store. Very strange. When we sat down, Brian and Johnny looked like they were making faces at each other or talking while we weren't looking. They got caught. The other girl (I think her name was Christina-?) asked what they were saying and they played it off and made hand gestures to each other (like in baseball). Brian pointed at Johnny and used his thumb and pinky to outline his eyebrows or something, so I interpreted the gestures and said that Brian thought Johnny's uni-brow looked good. He did NOT have a uni-brow. Not even close. But it was funny. The food was good, and I was starving. They had to wait for me to finish eating! That NEVER happened to me on a date before. I always lost my appetite from nerves! I suggested that Johnny leave his phone number as a tip for the waiter. He didn't think that was very funny, so he left money instead. LOL
We went to Brian's house and watched an old movie, Some Like It Hot, with Marilyn Monroe. It was actually pretty good. Brian lived in Lumberton. We drove from Lumberton to Beaumont to take Christina home, then Johnny drove back to Lumberton to take Brian home, before taking me to Vidor. At the time I didn't know the geography of the area, so it was easy for me to get turned around and confused. We talked on the way to my house. He walked me inside and met my mom and then he left. We might have one-arm hugged and said goodnight. ? After he left, I told my mom all the details of the date and I said, "Mama! He can sing like George Strait!" He could too.
A few days went by and he called to ask me out for the next Saturday night, February 13. Of course I said yes.
But by Friday afternoon, he called and said,
"Are you going to the Young Single Adult activity tonight?"
"Uh, no. I didn't know there was one." (I'm totally thinking he's trying to "activate me" in the YSA program.)
"Oh, well, I'm going to be going with some YSAs from Jasper, would you like for me to pick you up?"
Awkward. Can I say no? Are we still going out tomorrow? "Um, okay, I guess so."
"Okay, I'll be there in about an hour or so."
Deep breath. "Okay."
Hang up.
Well, if I'm going to be around a bunch of other YSAs (Young Single Adults- people our age.), I'm going to look super cute! So I get ready and he shows up, alone. ??Is this a date? Are we still going out tomorrow morning? I'll have to wait and see. He tells me the other YSAs decided to go in a separate car. (I don't know if they even showed up.)
We get there and people are looking at us like, 'Are they together?' And I'm thinking 'I hope they don't think we're "together" '. (Still have a little attitude and not sure if I want to "date" him.) The activity is a scavenger hunt. They divide us into groups based on our birthdays. (I'm thinking to myself, "I don't care when his birthday is, I'm in his group!") His birthday is in November, mine is in October, so we're in the same group anyway! Yes! We have to go all over campus in the cold weather looking for odd things that had been hidden. I was walking a little ahead of Johnny and another guy asked him if we were together. Johnny said, "I hope so." (I didn't hear them, he told me later.)
We all meet back at the Institute building and have refreshments. Another girl gave Johnny her number, in front of me, and said, "Let's do something sometime." That was enough to make me feel territorial! LOL I laughed to myself and thought, "Really? Cause he brought me here and I'm standing right here. Hmmm.... Do you really think he'll call you?" (Does that sound snobby? I hope not.)
We're headed back to my house and he says he'll pick me up at 9:00 the next morning if that's okay. Oh good- we're still on for tomorrow, I tell myself.
Again, I make sure I look super cute for our date. It's Valentine's Day weekend and also, Mardi Gras. Yay. (We're not into it.) BUT, because of Mardi Gras, Johnny heard of these Navy mine hunters that would be at the port and they were giving free tours. Cool. He picks me up and as I stand there while he opens the car door for me, I see something in the seat. Uh-oh.
"What is that?" Oops I said it out loud.
I get in, nervously glance at it and proceed to put it in the backseat. I'm totally embarrassed and nervous and I knew my entire family would disown me for my behavior. I wasn't thinking, only reacting. He said, "That's for you." AND wasn't even upset that I didn't swoon! He just wanted me to have it and was totally okay with me putting it in the backseat. Whew.
So we head to Port Arthur. The weather was beautiful, cool, bright blue skies, sunny! We didn't know our way around, and this is before GPS. We stopped at a convenient store and bought a map. The one time in my life, I read the map with no problems and got us to the port! A-mazing! We toured the
USS Pelican, with a small group of people, and it was really cool. We had to climb the ladder down into the control room and there was a wall of buttons and lights. The guide told us not to touch anything. I turned and looked at Johnny, who was standing dangerously close to the buttons. I grabbed his arm and pulled him into me and said, "He said don't touch anything!" (That was pretty much the first real flirting I did, but it broke the ice.) The rest of the morning and afternoon were fun, we went to a park and out to eat. That weekend was also Stake Conference for us, so he had meetings that night. My parents were out of town again (my mom left while I was on the date), so I didn't go that night. When he dropped me off, I remembered the gift he had for me. I thanked him for it and said goodbye. When I walked into our house, I hurried and put the gift in my bedroom before anyone could see it. It was a basket, covered in cellophane with a bag of potpourri and a candle, and a card. Nice. Sweet. Not terribly romantic. And wasn't a typical cheesy Valentine teddy bear. :)
Later, my sister Charlotte came over and I showed it to her. She loved it and made me so much less nervous about it all! Since my parents were out of town, with the family vehicle, we rode with Benny & Monica to Stake Conference the next day, Valentine's Day. I wore a red dress~ thought it was fitting (pun intended! Ha!). We had just walked in when I saw Johnny. I took Rachel to get a drink at the water fountain and we talked. He asked where we were going to sit. I told him upfront, that Monica was saving us seats. I asked where his family would sit, and he said probably in the back somewhere. It was still early, so I told him that there was probably enough room for them to sit up front by us. He said, "Okay." I think since I had Rachel, there were some interruptions, because I got confused and said, "Okay what?" He said, "Okay, I'll sit with your family." I think my eyes got big and I was like, "Oh, okay." LOL I wasn't sure how my family would take it, but what was I supposed to do? Hopefully we wouldn't be crowded. So he sat next to me. The Stake Choir was looking and pointing at us throughout the meeting. Haha. My family loved him! Jake was 3 or 4 years old (my nephew) and he needed to go to the bathroom or to get a drink and he only wanted Johnny to take him. Johnny was so good about it too! He was so natural at it all. Rachel didn't feel well, so I held her and got her to sleep. Somehow, during the closing prayer, Johnny's arm was around me and his hand was on my shoulder. And neither of us noticed until the prayer was over and he moved it.
We got home and I had to give Rachel some medicine for an ear-ache. My parents would be home that night. We didn't have a phone during all of this, but we lived next door to Monica & Benny, who did. So Johnny would call them and I'd go over to their house to talk. So it's Sunday afternoon and he calls. He knows I don't know my way around southeast Texas, and takes full advantage of that fact. He calls and says that he's going to Kirbyville to visit some friends and wants to know if he can come over? "Okay, sure!" We hurry and clean up and cook supper and I get ready. During all of this, my 17 yr old sister says, "He likes you! You better not hurt him!" I smile so big my cheeks hurt and say, "What are you talking about? I'm not going to hurt him. But I'm not promising anything either." ;)
One hour later, he knocks on the door. (His friends in Kirbyville wanted to take naps, so he couldn't visit them. He was not disappointed.) We're just sitting down to spaghetti, on paper plates. He sits with us, but doesn't eat. We hang out a few minutes and then Monica, Benny and their kids come over. I think Charlotte and her girls came too. We're all sitting around (with my little brother and sisters) and decide to watch Men In Black. (Love that movie.) We're sitting on the couch, Johnny's on my left, when one-by-one, kids start piling on the couch next to us. We scoot and we scoot until our shoulders and hips and legs are so close to each other (and everyone else) that there isn't any place to put our arms/hands. Pity. My hand ends up on his leg and his hand ends up on my hand. (Awww- our first time to hold hands!) So we're watching this movie when we hear my parents drive up. Uh-oh. Sometimes my dad isn't happy to meet people, especially when it's so close to bedtime~ I'm nervous and not sure what he'll say or do. Since my dad is legally blind (doesn't have peripheral vision or night vision) he uses a flashlight to get up the steps. I'm sure my mom's seen Johnny's car and told him who was there, because he comes in and shines the flashlight right in Johnny's face! Whew- he's in a good mood! :) So we make room, some sit on the floor and we all visit. My dad and Johnny exchange stories for an hour or so while the rest of us listen and respond when appropriate. At one point I look at Johnny and stop listening and think, 'Wow, he gets along great with my dad and family! And he tells such great stories! I really like him!' It's late and he has a long drive and has to work the next day. So it's time to say goodnight. Normally I wouldn't walk a guy out, because I'd get in trouble! lol (At least I'd be scared I would.) But my dad said goodnight to Johnny and I think asked if I was going to walk him out. (Like, where are your manners?) Oh- okay, yeah, I'll walk him out. I think we just hugged goodnight and he left. Maybe he said he'd call me or something. But I walked in with a smile on my face and my dad and my little brother and maybe others, said, "We like him!" lol It was a Happy Valentine's Day.
Our first date was February 6, 1999. We spent almost everyday together from February 12 to March 6, when he proposed. And nearly everyday since.
We were married June 18, 1999 for time and all eternity in the Dallas Texas Temple.
