Lessons Learned

Albert Einstein has been quoted as saying, "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result." I think that's how it goes.

It's no secret that I have struggled with how to teach my kids. Over the last six weeks, it has become especially burdensome. With Johnny working full-time and taking two 8-week online courses, our schedule has been brutal. One of his courses has been particularly difficult to keep up with and I have been helping Johnny complete his reading and assignments. Some of you know the extent of the work we have put into it. And we still have two weeks until it's over. So far, he has an "A" in the less time-consuming course, and a weak "B" (maybe even a "C") in the "this class is your life and it will kill you before you're done, and it doesn't matter that you spend over 20 hours a week on the assignments, your critical thinking skills are not up to par because I will always ask you vague questions because I know everything and you know nothing and by proving your incompetency, I show my strengths and feel better about myself, AND I will not provide any feedback on your grades or give you any help so that you will need to retake my course and I can do this all over again because it's favorite!" Um...sorry. I might've gotten carried away, but probably not, especially considering that I refrained from calling her a Nazi or using less desirable language, that I may or may not have used within the walls of my own home. :/ It seems like this class brings out the worst in me. I asked Johnny the other day if he would rather do these 8 week courses, or go through my postpartum depression again? "Hands down, these courses!" he said. "Really? Hmmm... I don't know. I guess." I answered. These have been the longest 8 weeks of my life- I realize they're not over yet. Seriously though, all of my pregnancies combined- that would be a total of 8 pregnancies, 2 miscarriages and 1 pregnancy with gestational diabetes- were WAY less stressful than these courses.

Anyway, ahem, where was I? Oh yes, the kids. So just before Thanksgiving, I was especially stressed out. In tears, I expressed my concerns for the kids with Johnny. It's been on my mind for...weeks if not months. I worried that I wasted time, made mistakes and failed miserably. It was difficult to know where the kids should be and how to get there effectively. It has never, NEVER, been my desire to have a "full-time job". You may laugh and say, "Then why do you have 6 kids?" For me, having the kids and raising them comes naturally (not that I always know what to do or how to do it). But structured teaching (lessons, curriculum, etc.), NOT my thing. We agreed it would be better for the kids to attend public school.

Yeah. Don't take it as such a shock. This decision was not made lightly. I've beat myself up pretty badly- thoughts of ridicule from friends and family, school faculty and the repercussions my children would face... This is a sensitive subject for me. Should anyone feel the need to say, "I told you so" or "I never thought homeschooling was a good idea" or "I didn't think you would stick with it" or "You should never have homeschooled" or anything similar... that's fine. That's totally ok, I realize people have opinions- just don't say it to me, or let me hear about it from anyone else. On the other hand, if you have words of encouragement or anything positive to say, I'm all ears. ;)

In order for the kids to go to school, Ella had to get immunizations. I was able to take her (and poor Samuel who was way behind on his) and get shots Tuesday morning. She had to have 5 shots and didn't cry once! Samuel needed 7, but got 4, and, of course, cried. By the time we got to the school and I filled out a boat-load of paperwork, there were about 2-2 1/2 hours left of the school day. Oh well. The kids were SO excited about going, which made it infinitely easier on me. As I walked with the school counselor to each of the kid's classrooms and met their teachers and dropped them off, I almost cried. My emotions were on the edge the whole day.

Picking them up from school the first day wasn't great. Poor Katherine did not have as good of a day as she had anticipated. Her tears could have filled a bucket. By getting there so close to the end of the day, it was a bit of a disruption and the kids were distracted, so the teachers were "stern-fully corrective", and to make matters worse, the boys thought Katherine was pretty! She vowed never to go back. I explained to her that it doesn't work that way and that 2 hours of school was not enough to judge what it is like. The next day, Johnny and I walked the kids into the building and talked to the counselor. She was so helpful and offered to take Katherine to class and make sure she got a "buddy" for the day. She even told Katherine she would visit one of her classes. When I picked them up that afternoon (yesterday), she smiled and said it was fun. She, along with some classmates, got to eat lunch with one of their teachers in the classroom. She is making friends, but still has to deal with the pesky boys that say they are her boyfriends. One of them tried to kick a soccer ball at her, but she dodged it. I explained to her that boys that age show girls they like them by hurting them. Haha! Oh- fifth grade...

Travis, Olivia and Ella are loving school. Ella has especially surprised us, since she has never gone to public school. She says everyone in her class is her friend- she is so confident! Next week, the kindergarten class is going to see the Nutcracker. She is so excited! We are blown away at Olivia's progress, after only a couple of days! She is reading better and has a spelling test today. I worked with her a lot last night, and this morning. I hope she does well! Travis couldn't wait to get to school today. His science class is building circuit boards.

My stress level has gone done exponentially! The other day I made cookies with Bryn. When does that ever happen?! And Johnny was home working on college! Knowing my kids are learning, have good teachers and are having fun makes me feel like I'm being a better mom. Did I mention how nice the school and teachers are? Oh my gosh! The building is like brand new and you can tell how much the teachers/faculty really care. The majority of the students are Hispanic, then Black, then White, etc, so everything is written in English and Spanish. I think there must be a lot of parents that don't speak English. Katherine and Travis have spiral planners that use Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habits! They are teaching the kids how to be successful and effective. You can't help but be impressed!

One of the lessons I've learned by moving here and not enrolling my kids, is that it is important to learn things for yourself and not go by what other people tell you. The things I "knew" about the school were not necessarily false, but they weren't based on personal experience. Now that my kids are there and I have seen it for myself, I am able to judge and make decisions.

I know for sure that the Lord isn't disappointed in me and that homeschooling was not a mistake or waste of time. I know for sure that my kids are okay and learning what they need to learn just like I am. I know FOR SURE, these 8 week courses WILL END, and that regardless of the final grades, graduate school will happen.